All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla Prague Away Kit
I know it isn’t near Christmas, but there is a logic to my choice of title for today’s game. It is actually football related. Due to Fuck Sky Sports messing with kick off times, and my involvement in Crawley WORDfest events, I wasn’t able to get to today’s game until half time. So it is only half a match report. The opponents are Reading, who, although they prefer to be known as the Royals, were traditionally known as the Biscuitmen. This track is by Half Man Half Biscuit from their 1987 album “Back In The DHSS Again”. And in honour to this there is a picture of a half-eaten biscuit, which is shortbread, in tribute to the shorter piece this time around.
For some inexplicable reason, FSS have fucked with the kick off time for our game against Reading for the second time this season, as the away game in October was also moved to be a 12:30 kick off. Why both of our games against Reading needed to be shown on TV is anyone’s guess. We lost that game 4–1. That being our only league game against Reading. We had played them in the third round of the FA Cup in 2005, losing 3–1. Our only other games were pre-season friendlies against them in 1972, which we won 2–0, and in 2015 which we won1–0.
This game comes a week after the wading through treacle loss against at home to Cambridge United last Saturday, after which somehow the FA managed to find trumped up charges against Tola Showumni and hand down a three match ban for alleged violent conduct, but as I remarked at the time, it was more extra from Platoon acting from Cambridge. Plus other allegations relating to our director of football and a now former fan board member as we lurch from one shit show to another.
Then there was the capitulation 4–1 loss away at Lincoln City on Tuesday night midweek, where we picked up more injuries to the lengthy list we already have, and with two suspensions, it wouldn’t have been a surprise to find Reggie named on the bench for the game today. That game made our goal difference worse, but at least we didn’t slip to the bottom of the table, staying in twenty-third, but with other results we are now seven points, and even more goals, off safety. Meanwhile Reading are in eighth and twenty-five points ahead of us, and are on a long unbeaten run. Just what we need.
Reading were one of the sides which despite being a long-established league club, Topps and A&BC wouldn’t touch with a barge pole. More recently they have been in the Premier League and so will have been Match Attax-ed up, but there is the 1992 Proset collection to fall back on, and the one player included was Trevor Senior who was in his second spell with them, almost a decade on from when he had been the league’s top scorer in the 1983–84 season.
So, after this morning’s WORDfest event, where our writing group’s 2025 booklets were given out. It was a rush down to the ground to arrive at half time.
It was a struggle to find someone to let me in as all the turnstiles were closed, but a steward let me in, asking why I was late, and when I told him it was due to FSS changing the kick off time, he said FSS hadn’t even turned up. After nearly blowing a gasket, I did find the game was still being shown on FSS, and I calmed down slightly.
The first half was, by all accounts, underwhelming and we trail 0–1, apparently to a goal which had a blatant hand ball in the lead up to it, which by this stage of an officials plagued season would be a surprise to exactly the square root of fuck all people.
I got confused when the teams came on to the pitch for the second half, as I though we had come out first and were wearing our green third kit from last season, and I did ask someone what the fuck are we wearing, only for us to come out wearing the standard all red home kit. With Dion Conroy out through injury, and with other things to do not having looked at the team list before hand, it was a pleasant surprise to find that we were being captained by Charlie Barker. Because the effort he has shown over the season is something we could do with from the rest of the team, and if he is there to lead by example, then it is the best choice possible.
It isn’t great to watch as we start the second half, there is a mix up in defence and we give the ball away near our own box, but thankfully the final ball is shocking, and we get away with one. We attack and Kamara Doyle eventually decides to take a shot on after twenty seconds of dithering, and it is deflected wide for a corner. Which is abysmal and easily cleared. We attack again down the left and the ball goes into the box to Louie Watson who goes down and there are half hearted claims for a penalty as he stays down injured. Not long after Tyreese John-Jules is wrestled down on the edge of the box, and in doing so manages to give a free kick to Reading.
The first sub comes on with Watson going off to be replaced by Panutche Camara. We almost work it through with some fancy footwork from Doyle in the middle of the park and he gets the ball through to Ade Adeyemo, but he is flagged offside. (probably for the best as his cross was shocking.)
We have a break down the left and Will Swan takes the ball to the edge of the area for his cross to be deflected out for a corner, which is taken short and wasted. Ben Radcliffe gets a booking for a drag back / rugby tackle in midfield and manages to injure himself in doing so. There are a number of half promising attacks, but there is no final ball, and they all seem to end with Reading breaking.
Time for more subs, Max Anderson and the injured Radcliffe go off to be replaced by Armando Junior Quitirna and Bradley Ibrahim. The Reading fans are really on JoJo Wollacott’s back every time he has the ball. The chants of “Yyyooooouuuu’rrrreeee Shit aah” are getting louder and seem to be getting to him as his kicking is getting worse, to the extent of the longer the half goes on, the more he just passes it short instead of launching it.
TAFKAL is quiet, so much so I think he isn’t there, but those around me tell me he is, and that he was in full flow in the first half, and to just wait for Reading to get a throw on this side. Which they didn’t have at all in the second half, so I heard nothing from TAFKAL.
The final set of subs come on with TJJ and Adeyemo going off to be replaced by Gavan Holohan and Rory Feely. AJQ beats a player down the right and plays it on to Swan, his cross brings a flying punch clear from the keeper, and a Barker shot from thirty-five yards is over the bar. Ibrahim picks up a booking on the far side for a bit of a wild lunge. And the reading number twenty picks up a booking for diving.
We are so slow getting the ball out from the back, the atmosphere isn’t great each time Wollacott holds the ball for more than about three seconds. Meanwhile on the right wing, AJQ is hugging the touchline, so much so I don’t think he has been out of the shade of the west stand since he came on.
A free kick in our own half is launched forward by Wollacott, and a combination of Barker and Holohan win the header. The ball comes out to the left and Doyle goes to the byline and crosses it low into the centre of the six-yard box and Camara ghosts in to clip the ball into the net and we are level at 1–1.
As the restart is waiting to take place the board goes up for four added minutes, a bit of a piss-take with the time wasting, injuries and number of subs. We get a late throw on the left, Barker takes a long one but it is cleared, the ball goes over the other side and AJQ crosses the ball just as the ref blows the final whistle, Swan volleys the cross in, a great finish, only five seconds too late, and so I just fail with my 2–1 prediction. Though perhaps if we were given the kind of time Bolton got (I may not let this go all season), then that could have been a dramatic winner.
The sponsors man of the match is announced as being captain for the day, Charlie Barker, and there was an announcement of the crowd this time, 4,526, with a very full away end of 1,414.
The point sees us go up to twenty second at full time, but others have games still to play today, so that could all change by full time at the three o’clock kick offs.
And it is a quick scuttle off after the game as well, as there is a quick change before heading up to London as we go out to celebrate Helen’s birthday.
There is little time to catch our breath as we have the final one of our rearranged games on Tuesday night, this one at home against Charlton Athletic which was postponed eleven minutes before kick off on New Year’s Day.
Come on you reds.
Originally published on my own website (without the pictures) at the link below.
For other Crawley Town articles check out the list below
If you liked this post, follow me or get on my email list for future posts. Some may even be more enjoyable than this one.
You can find articles I have already published here.
And feel free to clap (any will do), or highlight (pick something at random), or comment (any old gobbledygook will do), or best yet all three.
After years of prevaricating, I have finally gotten around to self-publishing some books. I now have three books available. The first is the novel “Where The Lights Shine Brightest”, this is available on Amazon at
Next up is a collection of drabbles, three hundred and sixty six of the little hundred word stories, under the title of “A Drabble A Day Keeps The Psychoanalyst Away”, this is available on Amazon at
Finally, there is an autobiographical work, released under my alter ego of Kevin Rodriguez-Sanchez, which covers a two year period in the early noughties when I lived in Manchester — “Five Go Mad In Manchester”. Again, this is available on Amazon at
They are all available as paperback or eBook. And if you have Kindle Unlimited then they are available on there to read whenever. Please buy / read / leave reviews.
