Be Sure To Wear Some Flowers In Your Hair
Nearly seven months on, it is still painful. Yet another so near, so far in the Superbowl. A loss in overtime against the Patrick Mahomes led Kansas City Chiefs. Again. Second time we had blown a ten point plus lead against them in the final quarter. Add them to the couple of yards short last play of the game against the Baltimore Ravens in the previous decade and it is now thirty years since we won out last Superbowl to go to a 5–0 record in them. And we lost our last three appearances in crushing (for the psyche) style.
It can be tough to deal with it. One of my oldest friends from Leicester, who is a humongous 49ers fan, and the first other 49ers fan I ever knew said to me that he doesn’t know if this latest one can ever heal. I can see where he is coming from, even when I’m going against my usual type and am trying to be optimistic about the forthcoming season.
And in a sport where there is an impression of constant change, it is surprising just how many things stay the same. Once again, the Superbowl loss raises question over Kyle Shanahan’s decision-making ability in the biggest games of the lot. There was a lot of criticism of him electing to receive in overtime in the Superbowl and then not going all out for the touchdown, electing to kick a field goal, and then trying to stop the Chiefs. I think that may be a bit harsh, but again I can see where people are coming from.
There were people let go after the Superbowl, the defensive coordinator came under more fire than Shanny and was out the door before the last of the Las Vegas ticker tape had settled on the pitch.
Then there was the draft. We drafted players. Everyone did. But no one was over excited about what was coming in. It was all a bit meh. (Although MEH is a common acronym where I work and means something totally different). Same as it was last year. Only for it to be compounded when with just over a week to go before the season opener, out first round pick got shot in the chest in a robbery, and no one knows how long he will be out for.
The wonder of getting a wide receiver in the draft’s first round may have been because the club were expecting another long-protracted pantomime of a star wide receiver angling for a trade and not signing an extension with the 49ers until the last moment. It wasn’t Deebo this year, but Brandon Aiyuk instead, and it rumbled on. And on. And on. So much so it should have been sponsored by Ariston. But he is staying.
And then as we stumble through pre-season games with players looking as if they would rather be on a beach in the Gaza Strip, or lumbered with six tickets to an Oasis reunion gig, and playing with as much coordination as Bambi on ice, here comes the next pre-season staple. Trent Williams is holding out for more money and looks as if he won’t be suiting up for game one.
Please stop me if you have heard any of this in seasons gone by.
Of course, it wouldn’t be pre-season without managing to rack up a season ending injury or two. Elijah Mitchell had gone on a potential season long IR list.
Anyone would think there is a pre-season tick list up at Levi’s Stadium of irritating shit which must be completed before the season proper starts. Now, I’m all for a good list, but it might be nice to swap a couple of items out from season to season. Get a bit of variety involved.
In the midst of it all the ceremony took place to deservedly enshrine Patrick Willis into the pro Football Hall of Fame. Disappointingly the same cannot be said for Roger Craig.
Getting ready for pre-season I went to the wardrobe and pulled out some shirts. I realise just how much fucking weight I’ve lost over the last couple of years as I’ve been in smaller tents than some of the shirts I had stashed away, twenty jerseys, jumpers, coats. I’m down to about half a dozen which look like they might actually have been made for me. Most of the others were of a size where I could fit myself and Helen in them. Easily. I have sold some on, but still have a stack more I need to find decent 49ers homes for. One of the ones that does now fit is a Patrick Willis shirt I never used to be able to get on. Unfortunately one of the ones that has to go is a Roger Craig one for which I need a replacement.
Usually I leave my predictions to the end of these pieces, but I had written my predictions before I read other sources’ predictions, and I wouldn’t want people to be thinking I’ve copied my homework.
Anyway, I have us down for another division title, although it isn’t likely to be as easy as last season. With most of our stars of stage and screen returning from last year (of the released and traded list only Armistead was an obvious loss) and not such a heavy east coast time zone playing rotation, I would go for us to finish 12–5 and end up with the number two or three seed in the conference. A chance to pile on the usual post-season humiliations for both the Packers and Cowboys before a repeat of last year’s conference final against the Lions (well if pre-season can repeat itself, so can post-season), only for us not to spot them a twenty point lead this time around.
Of course, that would see us back in the Superbowl. And it is there where we need all those thoughts and prayers many Americans are so fond of. Or some kind of catastrophe, such as a Taylor Swift fan stampede wiping out most of the Chiefs players at Arrowhead, or a novel idea perhaps, one of the AFC contingent of halfwits eliminating the damn Chiefs before they get a chance to three-peat. I don’t mind which of them it is. Bills, Ravens, Bengals, hell, why not the Jets? Anyone but the Chiefs in the Superbowl and it will finally be number six. (I think I’ll find I said exactly the same thing last year as well.)
Other predictions for the season. Well, Brock Purdy will continue to perform at the same level as last season, and will continue to be the most disrespected quarterback since Paul Crewe. Christian McCaffrey will break two thousand yards again, despite carrying injuries, most of the 49ers hopes and expectations, and any other random flotsam and jetsam picked up along the way, and he will still not get a chance of being MVP. Nick Bosa will break the single season record for most times held without drawing a flag, and Trent Williams, when he eventually deigns to play a game, will accidentally eat an opposing defensive linesman. Another former 49ers player will be elected to the pro Football Hall of Fame. It won’t be Roger Craig (seriously you fucking boneheads, stop making yourself look stupid and get him in there already.) And the most outrageous call of all? Whoever is showing the 49ers — Chiefs matchup in October will break a broadcasting record and go a whole thirty-seven seconds without mentioning Taylor Swift. (Yes, I can see the irony in the fact that is her third name check in this article.)
Lindy’s was out seemingly earlier than ever, and despite getting it as soon as it hit WH Smiths’ shelves, it has been sat under my laptop case for the last couple of months before I’ve gotten around to opening the pages to see what they predicted for us. I was surprised just how similar my predictions were to Lindy’s. They were very much of the opinion our draft was indeed meh, and it was ranked as one of the worst of all teams. They had us beating the Lions in the NFC conference final and then going on to beat the Chiefs in the Superbowl.
The same went for Gridiron magazine as well. That has been sat in the same pile as Lindy’s for at least six weeks before that was hurriedly read over the weekend as well. At least this year they managed to get some proper copy editors working on the pieces before it went to print. They had all the team as playing a seventeen-game regular season and not the seven, thirteen, fifteen, or sixteen game ones they had for some teams last year. Although it is unfortunate that their twat in chief (sorry that should read editor in chief) Neil Reynolds may well have put the kiss of death on us as he has us to win the lot, beating the Ravens in the Superbowl after seeing off the Packers in the NFC conference final, and he had the Chiefs failing to even make the AFC championship game.
There was also a pre-season piece on the BBC Website, it was titled “NFL team-by-team guide: Who are the Super Bowl contenders?” A more accurate title would have been, “Here’s a list of teams in order of how they did last year, a paragraph on how they did last year, an obligatory mention of Taylor Swift, and nothing at all about how they think teams would end up this season.” Although they did include the phrase ‘last chance saloon’ in the 49ers piece.
The season starts for the 49ers with Monday Night Football against the New York Jets. Good old Bobby Baldy is back in town as their head coach, and rumours are that Aaron Rodgers is going to last more than four snaps before succumbing to a season ending injury. But only because he wants to rack up another loss against the 49ers.
And with that it is time to stop chatting shit and banging this out (a reference especially for Dipak there). Roll on next Monday night.
Go Niners!
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After years of prevaricating, I have finally gotten around to self-publishing some books. I now have three books available. The first is the novel “Where The Lights Shine Brightest”, this is available on Amazon at
Next up is a collection of drabbles, three hundred and sixty six of the little hundred word stories, under the title of “A Drabble A Day Keeps The Psychoanalyst Away”, this is available on Amazon at
Finally, there is an autobiographical work, released under my alter ego of Kevin Rodriguez-Sanchez, which covers a two year period in the early noughties when I lived in Manchester — “Five Go Mad In Manchester”. Again, this is available on Amazon at
They are all available as paperback or eBook. And if you have Kindle Unlimited then they are available on there to read whenever. Please buy / read / leave reviews.
