Celebrity Skin

Kev Neylon
10 min readOct 8, 2024

Some nineties grunge for a title this week, courtesy of the Courtney Love led Hole, the reason for which will become apparent later.

Another week, another Tuesday night game, another competition. After the disappointing 2–0 loss to Mansfield Town last week (after which there were reminders, such as the two brothers who sit behind us (and who you can blame for encouraging me with all the terrible role/rolls puns to come), and the name of the street near the bus station when I was in Leicester at the weekend),

there was a game away at Wycombe Wanderers on Saturday, which ended up with another disappointing loss, this time 1–0. It is strange when you watch the EFL show, what they show in highlights. The mutterings from those who had gone to Wycombe on Saturday was it was a mediocre performance. Yet in contrast to games where we had played much better in the run of losses, the highlights showed us having good chances, and not a slough of Wycombe ones. Performance, it would seem, is in the eye of the highlight editors.

That defeat left us in the relegation zone, but we stayed in twenty-first (even if at one point in proceedings on Saturday afternoon we were down in twenty-third).

But it isn’t league action we have come to watch this evening; it is the second of the group stage games in the Bristol Street Motors Trophy. And we host (not you will notice, welcome) AFC Wimbledon. Which brings me back to the title of this piece, a nod to the massive hole in their pitch after not so recent flooding. (But not a ‘Super Massive Black Hole’, something to Muse on.)

The last time we played them it was a 1–0 win on a dark Tuesday night in south London last February when they were looking the more likely playoff candidates. Nearly eight months later we are a division above them, but still can’t get away from playing them.

We start with a new keeper. With JoJo Wollacott on international duty, and Eddie Beach injured we have an emergency loan keeper in from Millwall in the shape of Connal Trueman. The lineup may be quite different from Saturday’s loss as the new manager being likely to take a look at some playing time for those not involved in the last three league matches.

There may be some apathy to this competition, and for some fans it isn’t a priority, but getting a goal and a win might just be a kick start and confidence building ahead of the important league game on Saturday.

AFC were in all blue, and the officials were in the Stabilo Boss yellow highlighters. Quite a few changes for us from recent league action. We have an early attack and Jack Roles feeds Gavan Holohan in the box (not sausage rolls though) and his shot is just wide. A couple of minutes later Rushian Hepburn-Murphy drives down the left and cuts inside and has a low shot from the edge of the area which is straight at the keeper. At the other end AFC get a shot off which is blocked.

There is decent work down the right with Toby Mullarkey, Rafiq Khaleel, and Holohan working well together, and the final ball into the box is just knocked back off Holohan for a goal kick. On the other side RHM is taken down after beating the last defender for pace on the wing, which brings a yellow card for the defender. The cross is headed clear for a throw on the other side. It is cleared and Khaleel pulls an AFC attacker back to prevent a counter, but somehow doesn’t pick up a yellow for it.

Tola Showunmi is put through and takes the ball into the box but seems scared to shoot and stops and tries to pass only for it to go out for a goal kick. We have more possession and work the ball from the right to the left wing to RHM who cuts in and takes a shot which is well saved for a corner. That is played in, bounces about and we get another shot off, but it is straight at the keeper.

AFC attack and a mix up in defence sees a one-on-one opportunity, and the attacker sends our emergency loan keeper Connal Trueman the wrong way, but the shot is well wide. Back on the offensive down the right wing Showunmi crosses, and Roles attempts to play the ball into the middle of the box only for it to be cleared (like bowls after some Arctic Roll). Showunmi manages to find himself offside a couple of times in quick succession.

There is another great ball into the box and Holohan’s shot just comes off the toe of the tracking defender and out for a corner. It is cleared and AFC get up the other end and shoot which Trueman saves well. At the other end, Roles has a shot which clears the KRL Logistics stand for ball loss one of the game (and is still rolling). AFC attack again and Trueman saves well again, it is cleared but put back in and he is forced into another save. AFC get a free kick on the right corner of the area and shoot, and Trueman completes a hat trick of saves in just under a minute.

Mullarkey picks the ball up near halfway and surges forward. There are shouts of ‘shoot’ from behind me, he does, and it goes well wide, which brings out shouts of ‘don’t shoot’ from behind me. At the other end, an innocuous right-wing cross is allowed to bounce in the middle of the six-yard box and is easily slotted home by the unmarked attacked and we are down 0–1 just before one added minute at the end of the half is announced. There is time for a Charlie Barker clearance to sail over the east marquee before the half time whistle goes and we traipse into the dressing room somehow down 0–1.

We start brightly in the second half as well winning an early corner after some decent persistence from RHM. A couple of minutes later a ball into the box sees the keeper just about beat RHM to the ball and it won’t quite fall for Roles who slips trying to get a shot off (a buttered roll?). Barker goes down with a blow to the face, from the angle I’m at I can’t tell if it was from the ball or a stray hand (and I remembered my glasses this week but no additional help).

A couple of minutes later and AFC get a corner, it comes all the way over to the back post and from all of about two yards out it is easily headed in and we trail 0–2. It doesn’t get any better as almost from the restart AFC attack again down the left and cross it in and there is James Tilley of all people with the freedom of the penalty area to head it in and it is 0–3.

Which brings the first of the subs out. Khaleel and Holohan are off and replaced by Jeremy Kelly and Ronan Darcy. The change in play isn’t immediate, AFC get another cross in, there is another free header, but Trueman saves this one at the expense of a corner, which is cleared, and played back in and mishit for a goal kick. Barker is still feeling the effects of the earlier incident and is subbed with Bradley Ibrahim coming on to replace him.

And still AFC are attacking, getting another shot, this one well wide. Which brings our last two subs into play, Showunmi and Roles depart (they will play no more role in this show) with Armando Junior Quitirna and Will Swan coming on in their places.

There is some Crawley attacking now. Kelly gets a shot blocked, we win it back and get a corner. Armando has a shot, and we get another corner. It is played in, and Armando gets fouled just inside the left of the box and the ref points to the spot. Darcy steps up to takes, sends the keeper the wrong way and we have out first goal in over six hours of play. 1–3.

We win a free kick twenty-five yards out on the right-hand side. It is played into the box and headed in. The celebrations are short lived as the flag is up for offside. Back down the right Armando cuts inside and gets a shot away which is just wide. We win a corner, and Darcy whips it in and RHM is there to head it in, and it is 2–3.

AFC attack and the defence is a bit nervy, we half clear and it is put back in and their header is just wide. We attack again, this time down the left, Kelly to Darcy, and the cross goes through the six-yard box with no able to get near it. Armando wins it back and crosses it, it falls to Kelly and his volley is well saved. Another cross gets to Kelly and he pokes it back to Josh Flint who controls, turns, shoots, and scores and it is 3–3.

Tails are up. A Kelly cross is clipped in and RHM heads it wide. Another attack and an Ibrahim shot is blocked for a corner. It is played short and then crossed and another RHM header goes in slow motion and hits the post and bounces wide.

The board goes up for seven added minutes. We have two more shots, both blocked, one on each side of the area. AFC have woken up again and get a shot just wide, and another is well saved by Trueman. Kelly puts a cross over from the left wing and it looks to be a blatant handball in the middle of the box to clear it, but nothing is given. AFC attack again and a shot is blocked on the edge of the area, only to fall back to the same player who shoots again, and it goes into the top right-hand corner off the underside of the bar, and we trail again 3–4.

Ball three sails over the KRL Logistics stand from another AFC shot as they try to waste the time to see the game out. We attack again and there is another penalty shout for another handball as a shot is deflected out for a corner, only for the final whistle to go before it can be taken and we have lost 3–4.

A loss isn’t ideal, but it is only the Bristol Street Motors Trophy, and even if some of the defending wasn’t great, there were three goals scored, which after the recent drought will hopefully give the team a bit of confidence to get on and take a few more shots.

The crowd was announced as 1,438 with 273 of them being visiting fans to see an entertaining game played at times in torrential rain and with a lightshow and sound show from the accompanying storm. With Barker’s facial injury and the storm, it really could be called a blood and thunder cup tie. It did sound as if the east marquee might blow away at any point in the second half. With this weather it is likely the hole at Plough Lane is just getting bigger. The sponsors’ man of the match was RHM. The loss sees us stay in third in our group with just an away game at Wycombe to come, a game which if won would see us through to the knockout stages.

It is back to league action on Saturday with the visit of Shrewsbury Town, one of the few teams below us in the league, and what really should be a must win game for us.

Come on you reds.

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Kev Neylon

Writing fiction, travel, history, sport, & music blogs. Monthly e-zine with all kinds of writing at www.onetruekev.co.uk. All pictures used are my own.