Forever In Blue Jeans
Neil Diamond’s top twenty hit from 1979 is the title in use this time around. One of several singles that were played a lot on a Dansette when I was a kid, and an early misheard lyric by me, as I thought for years he was singing ‘reverend blue jeans’. Anyway with the top two in the division looking seemingly home and hosed, the opening words from the song (and the start of the chorus refrain) are appropriate for today’s opposition.
After last Saturday’s season in a nutshell defeat to Leyton Orient, I’ve spent the time in between then and today in Lisbon. The closest I got to their two magnificent stadiums (for Benfica and Sporting) was seeing them out of the window of the plane as we took off coming back. But visiting their National Pantheon of revered Portuguese people from history, I was surprised to find Eusebio amongst the tombs. The top scorer at the 1966 World Cup was a legendary player, but you don’t think of football players necessarily being national icons in this way. It made me wonder if there would be any football player included if we had a national pantheon in this country.
Having read Four Four Two in more depth since last weekend, I can’t say I’m impressed with the opinion piece by senior staff writer Chris Flanagan. I do agree with the sentiment of his piece about the cynical time wasting by goalkeepers feigning injury so the manager can gather all the players for impromptu team talks. But it’s clear the example he is using (though he doesn’t mention the teams involved or players) is our game away to Bolton. It’s piss poor journalism to denigrate a player who suffered a season ending injury during the game and was only trying to play on because there was no keeper on the bench to replace him.
Additionally I took a longer look at the top fifty EFL players article. Aside from mentioning Charlie Barker as our ‘close but no cigar’, it was interesting to see Gillingham’s ‘close but no cigar’ was Glenn Morris. Tom Fellows made it into the list proper at number nineteen. And today’s opponents have three players in the top fifty list with Christoph Klarer, Tomoki Iwata, and record League One signing Jay Stansfield.
This week’s rider on the merry go round of goalkeepers is Toby Stewart, who is hopefully no relation of Bar. It is another emergency loan keeper, as it would seem JoJo Wollacott is still injured, and Luke Hutchinson was obviously so traumatised by his spell last week he didn’t want to extend it. This will be our eighth different goalkeeper of the season. I’ve tried seeing if this is some kind of record, but there is nothing definitive. There is a BBC article on Ebbsfleet having used eight keepers in their 2015–16 season, although one of those was an outfield player going in goal after a sending off. And I found a piece on Arsenal using seven goalkeepers way back in the 1899–1900 season. But I haven’t found any mention of eight or more proper keepers in a single season. Anyway, Toby, is twenty, and from Portsmouth, and has only played six senior games himself, for Wealdstone in the National League, so it does beg the question of why the hell don’t we just bite the bullet and use Jaspar Sheik instead of bringing in another keeper who won’t have had time to get up to speed with the ridiculous amount of fannying about we do at the back. You have to feel sorry for anyone coming in at this stage as they are on a hiding to nothing, especially against a team as good as today’s opponents have been most of the season.
My piece after the 1–0 loss to Birmingham City in the home fixture got a few more views and reads than usual. In fact, six times as many as normal as one of the Birmingham City fans posted it on their Small Heath Alliance forum. A brief summary of comments would say I’m a miserable, sad, old, fat, bitter, red spectacle wearing, angry prick, with a shit coat. So, much better feedback than usual, and all good for the stats.
Besides that loss we had only played them once before, back in the League Cup in 2017, when we took a 5–1 tonking.
Having used a couple of examples from the 1976–77 season of Topps cards in that previous piece, I’ve come forward a couple of years and picked Birmingham City stalwart of the seventies — Malcolm Page.
My obsession over football cards is expanded in the piece below.
It’s well known I hate Birmingham as a city, but it is a shame the image they have done so well to throw off is being foisted back on them by the bin situation. It really is rubbish for them. Although the city centre and the walk to the ground is rubbish pile free, apparently, it’s the residential areas which are suffering, and its not being helped by people taking advantage to fly tip stuff that should be off to the tip.
Getting to the game by train was interesting. Traditionally when travelling up from Crawley, it is a straightforward train to Victoria, tube to Euston, train to New Street (or train to St Pancras, walk to Euston), but possibly with it being an engineering works Easter weekend, none of the journeys online wanted to do that. The three routes they kept giving were up to Victoria, tube to Marylebone, train to Moor Street; train to Peterborough, then to New Street; or train to St Pancras, change for one to Leicester, then one to New Street. I ended up with the latter one for the journey up, and doing the first one for the journey back as they are the quickest routes either way. And speaking of travel issues, the supporters coaches had to forgo their services stop as BCFC only informed them yesterday that the roads around the stadium are closed from 1:30 and they have to be there before then.
With Birmingham City promoted and us looking increasingly nailed on for relegation it does seem as if we are those opposite ends of a Newton’s Cradle, dropped at the same time to hit the other balls (teams) in the middle and bounce back to where we came from.
Birmingham are still on course to break the single season records for points, but they suffered a set back in the Vertu trophy final last Sunday (when the fuck did it change its name again, it was still the Bristol Street Motors Trophy when we were going out in the group stage), losing to Peterborough United as they became the first team to successfully defend the trophy under whatever name it is called now. (OK, been told it’s due to a change of name of the company with Bristol Street Motors having changed their name.)
With them having secured winning the league last weekend we will be giving the guard of honour for them. And with it being their first home game since clinching the title they will be wanting to put on a show for their fans. So if trying to get a result at fortress St Andrews wasn’t hard enough (Birmingham are undefeated at home this season), that will just make it harder with them being the bear that has been poked. Not great.
Going into the game we are six points from safety, but in reality, seven, as Burton Albion’s goal difference is so superior to ours. They are the team we are chasing down as it is so unlikely to be able to win all four of our remaining games which we would need to do to be able to catch any of the other teams above them on 47 points. And make that eight as Burton managed a draw in the early kick off.
Randomly there were a couple of blokes from Crawley on the St Pancras to Leicester train, one was a Crawley fan, but he wasn’t going to Birmingham, he had been persuaded to do a double header with mates and was off to Derby for their early kick off against Luton, and then up to Sheffield for United against Cardiff in the evening kick off. Not a bad way to spend a Good Friday I suppose but not a visceral as going to see Crawley.
The wander down/up to the ground from the centre of the city is full of regeneration and street art. Apparently speaking to someone on the way down some of the grand old red brick Victorian buildings are due to be demolished as the regeneration continues, which sounds a shame. Along the way there are plenty of stalls selling what I’m sure is ‘official’ League One champions gear. The club superstore has a queue and a half, and watching the queue move slowly the security checks of bodies and pat downs is a lot more thorough than the one I got going into the away end.
I picked up a programme along the way, and it is one of the better ones of the season. Definitely more content than adverts, and seven pages on CTFC, with four on the current squad and position (but randomly including a picture of Joy Mukena — remember him?), two pages on our back-to-back promotions from the Conference to League One, and a quiz page.
There are a few changes with Ben Radcliffe (who was announced before the game as William — twice) and Jack Roles starting, and Benjamin Tanimu, Tola Showunmi, and Antony Papadopoulos making rare ventures onto the bench. The game is at St Andrews, but with our position we’d have been better off with the saint being Jude Thaddeus instead.
Birmingham City are in blue shirts and socks and white shorts, whereas we are in the away white/grey kit. They are on the front foot from the outset and a ball over the top beats Radcliffe and their striker is through and Toby Stewart makes a good save. Then Radcliffe is done on the right, and a cross comes in and the shot from Birmingham hits the foot of the post and is cleared. A left-wing cross finds a Birmingham player free in the box, but their header is glanced wide.
Only six minutes in and there is a stoppage. Not sure what was going on, but the ref was over on the sideline with the fourth official. Not sure if they swapped places or not. The large contingent of travelling fans are in good voice and there is decent banter back and forth with the home fans. I’m known for having a gallows sense of humour, but I’m not sure some of the chants from us are necessarily helping our players.
Birmingham get a corner, the headed clearance is miscued, and they get another one. That is played deep and a header at the back post is only inches over the bar. There is another random stoppage. This time because the shit Sky Bet advertising banner behind the right of the goal has escaped its tethers and made its way onto the pitch. It is unceremoniously dumped behind the hoardings, only for it to reappear a few minutes later, which is a shame as fuck betting advertising.
Charlie Barker has swapped sides with Radcliffe and picks up the first booking of the game for a blatant shirt pull on the halfway line. Birmingham attack with pace again through the middle, play it out to the right and a shot comes in which is saved. We break with some decent passing and a Rushian Hepburn-Murphy cross is put behind for a corner. We play it short, but the whistle has gone for an infringement in the box.
There is a bit of back pass related danger from us for a change. Steward miskicks the ball straight to a Birmingham player on the edge of the box, their shot is blocked and the follow up sees them just run the ball out of play. We have a break and Panutche Camara is taken out on halfway. The free kick is taken long diagonally and goes straight out near the corner flag for a goal kick. Camara is fouled again on the edge of the centre circle, and the free kick is wasted again.
We have some decent possession and work it down the right, RHM plays it back to Barker and he crosses deep and finds Jeremy Kelly all by himself at the back of the area, but it bounces too high for him to get it down to get a shot, but it is worked back in and RHM wins a header at the back post but it goes well wide.
You can see how Birmingham have won the league, there is that constant underlying threat that it will suddenly click for them and that that final ball will go right rather than not quite working. (Although how many times have I said that about us this season?) We have a counterattack down the right and the cross is deflected for a corner, which goes straight out for a goal kick.
And we break again from defence, a ball to Camara in midfield and he slots it to the right and RHM and he has a shot which is saved and goes for a corner. Which is season long traditional style we waste, and it goes for a goal kick.
There are three added minutes at the end of the half and Birmingham have possession for most of it. It is almost as if they are trying to walk the ball into the net. A lot of very neat, quick, close, incisive passing cutting straight through our defence, but the final shot is a bit weak and easily saved. The half time whistle goes, and we are level 0–0.
Not wanting to tempt fate but Camara is having his best game of the season for us so far. TAFKAL is only three rows in front of me, but we are a long way away from both the linesmen, and from anyone taking throw ins so he has been remarkably quiet. Speak to Rick and Grant at half time, they are sat on the lower levels.
The second half starts, and it doesn’t take us long to try and commit defensive Hari kari with a back pass which Steward does well to smuggle out for a throw. It is taken long, and Birmingham get a shot which goes wide. They are attacking more again and win a corner, it is flicked to the back of the box, and crossed back it, which is defended well and goes for a throw. We give away a free kick just outside the right corner of the penalty area. It is taken deep and headed back across goal and the header from that goes just wide.
Birmingham are claiming a penalty after a coming together in the box and one of their players goes down, but it isn’t given and we break and sweep it forward to RHM just in his own half he runs through to the box and tries to cut inside and goes down and as seconds before at the other end, claims for a penalty are waved away.
Then the Birmingham keeper has a CTFC style aberration and plays the ball straight to RHM on the edge of his area, RHM takes one pace forward and shoots. Badly, it is well over the bar, and that may be our best chance gone. It is substitution time and Kamari Doyle goes off to be replaced by Gavan Holohan.
We have a break and there is a blatant stop the break foul in midfield, but the ref plays advantage, but when the ball does go out of play for some reason the deserved yellow card is not forthcoming. (Just as blatant as the foul Barker got one for in the first half.)
Birmingham look really dangerous every time they go down the left-hand side, their winger ha the pace to get past the back line every time. They win yet another corner, but it is too deep for a change and goes harmlessly out for a goal kick.
Another substitution, Camara is going off, as he must be fucking knackered with the shift he has put in today. Max Alexander comes on to replace him. We are on the attack and Bradley Ibrahim loses the ball in the box and is claiming a foul. Birmingham break and go down the left again and Barker manages to shepherd the ball out for a goal kick and is pushed off the pitch. Ibrahim sprints sixty yards to get involved and pushes a Birmingham player, there is a bit of a melee, and Ibrahim picks up a booking. For fucks sake, sometimes he is a moron, why run sixty yards just to get another fucking booking. That makes fifteen for the season and a three-game ban, which means this will be his last appearance for us.
We have a throw on the right in the attacking third, Barker takes it long and it is headed behind for a corner. The cross is half cleared and falls to Kelly just outside the box, his shot gets to about the penalty spot before it is blocked and cleared. We break again and its played out to RHM on the left, he cuts inside but his cross is blocked. And again he gets the ball on the left and passes it across to Holohan only for his shot to be easily saved. Whilst this is going on a steward (not our keeper) has gone down to have a word with Grant and tell him to put his camera away.
RHM is taken out on the halfway line on a break and finally one of these challenges sees a booking for a Birmingham player. Another break comes down the right and Holohan is fouled. Kelly puts it in the box low down and it is cleared for a corner, which is taken low again and cleared and Birmingham are off down the left wing again and get a cross in which we manage to clear, but it is played back into the box and it looks like a striker may be on the end of it but Steward is down low to it and gets there first.
We give away a free kick on the left wing, but it taken deep and goes for a goal kick. There are four added minutes at the end of the game. Birmingham are attacking again and a cross just about misses everyone in the box and sneaks out for a goal kick. We make a substitution with Jack Roles going off and Antony Papadopoulos finally getting some game time, albeit three miserly minutes.
A strong back pass is mis-controlled by Steward and is goes out for a corner. We clear but give it away again it is crossed back in and goes for a goal kick. The four minutes seem like ten before the final whistle goes and we have escaped from St Andrews with a point in a 0–0 draw. The five bar gate on the Birmingham shirts was a bit optimistic. It was our ninth clean sheet of the season, so we manage to stay one ahead of the number of keepers we have used, and now more of our clean sheets have come with emergency loan keepers on the pitch.
Elsewhere Bristol Rovers picked up a point at Wrexham, and Cambridge United managed to win away at Huddersfield, and so even with a point we have now dropped to twenty-third in the league and are still six points (seven with goal difference) from safety.
Next up on Easter Monday is the home game against Exeter City. As many of our games have been recently another must win fixture.
The crowd was announced as being 27,325, but no mention of how many of those were away fans, but word was yesterday that there had been over 700 tickets sold. And it seems the title of the piece may have jinxed Wrexham who are now no longer in the automatic promotion places.
Come on you reds.
Originally published on my own website (without the pictures) at the link below.
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